Transition to Motherhood and Aligning to My Purpose
My transition into motherhood was long-sought, beautiful, and turned my world sideways. At the time, I was an IT Director for a large healthcare company, deep in the throes of advancing in the corporate ladder. It was cut-throat, and I was mostly unaware of the tactics I had developed to be successful in male-dominant cultures.
So, I kept my pregnancy quiet until I couldn’t and when my son arrived a month early, I was anything but ready. We decided to keep a parent at home and I became the sole breadwinner. I struggled with all the roles I was and was not playing. I was a new mom, a step-mom, a rising leader at work, had just bought a house, and was suddenly solely financially responsible for 5 humans. I struggled doing it all and began to over compartmentalize emotionally.
It hit me like a ton of bricks when I came home from work one night and realized I was avoiding holding my 5-month-old son. Not because I didn’t want or love him, but because I was so emotionally, mentally, and physically drained that the world I had created might fall apart the moment I touched him. And it did.
Falling apart was exactly what was needed. It snapped me into clarity about what I wanted in my life and how far I had strayed from my purpose. My values where lost in the hustle of having it all. I needed to find my way back.
It took a couple of years, swallowing some bitter pride, two moves, and a big decision to relocate to the small Wyoming town where we now live. Life is simpler, but much fuller and richer. We are surrounded by family who adore and love my kids. My purpose has been my North Star for my life. Now, more than ever, I am confident in the value I offer to the world and myself. I still do what I do best – build leaders and community - but now I do it with healthy boundaries. I love helping organizations create amazing culture, helping women find their voice and power, and being a mother who is emotionally, mentally, and physically present for her family and in life. It wasn’t the journey I expected, but grace isn’t something you plan for.
Amanda is a mother, people developer, and leadership coach. She has over 18 years corporate experience in Organizational and Leadership Development. One of her superpowers is creating community in both large and small business. She currently resides in Green River, Wyoming with her family and can usually be found with a double latte in one hand and toddler in the other.